I’m Pregnant

DISCLAIMER:
If I've sent any of you private messages regarding any of this, please ignore. I was going to just blog about how I can't stand certain people, but that's not true and it isn't fair. I'm just crazy right now.

Ok, for reasons I really don't care to disclose right now, I'm completely loopy insane. I mean, I actually have a good MEDICAL reason for why I'm like this, but that's not really any of y'all's business (Except for those of you who know) so just know that I'm not normally like this. This must be what it's like to have bi-polar disorder; no disrespect for those of you who actually have that shit, but this has to be it. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the completely zoned-out middles. I know my room mates are just over it right now too.

Well, one of them is anyway. V probably doesn't notice too much as he's not around a lot and probably wouldn't pick up on it too quick anyway. He's good at offering a quick fix to my attitudes anyway, whether he realizes it or not. Disc Golf and fast food, that's him. My other room mate, T, the one to whom I have a more kindred connection, just exacerbates my shit to the point of sending me to the brink of Breakdownsville. Not that I'm saying he's like this per se, but right now in my loopy state of mind he just comes off as completely egocentric, vain, oblivious, fake, pseudo intellectual and smarmy. And the thing is, he's not like that (Well, he is vain as hell but even he'll tell you that… and I guess a fair amount of egocentrism HAS to go along with that, just because). Out of everyone in the world I can think of right now, he should be the most sympathetic to my condition since he's gone through this before. But honestly, I think he could give two shits. So, I'm gonna be riding a I-HATE-MY-ROOM-MATE-WAVE until I can get a hold of my self and deal with it (OH! And y'all know how John Matthews is my best friend/ brother/ ride-or-die nigga, right? Well, he just went to Afghanistan yesterday and I was depressed about that all day. I told T about it and you know what he said to me? "Sorry, Buddy". FUCK YOU!)

I think I've figured it out. I'm pregnant. Yes, I'm a pregnant guy. I don't know how in the world it happened but that must be the only way anybody's this hormonal. If mood swings were actual swings, I'd be on the Sky Coaster at Carowinds. When I'm happy, I'm the happiest motherfucker alive. When I'm angry, someone is well-nigh close to getting swung on. When I'm sad, hide the razor blades.

OK, so I just talked to T on the phone and I'm now 100% convinced that he's just oblivious. Called me up like absolutely nothing has been wrong with me over the last week. So, I'm just like… what the hell ever. I'm not gonna sweat it anymore. I'd go for a run right now were it not for my prematurely arthritic knees. I don't wanna lift anymore weights because then my testosterone goes off the hinges and I wanna kill things. Plus, if my arms get any bigger I'm gonna have to size up in all my shirts and I can't afford to do that right now.

Good news, though. Crucis, Das Wunderpitt, is a certified, Purple-Ribbon American Staffordshire Terrier (I still refuse to say pit bull). So, yay- he's not some beautiful bastard mutt. I always knew he wasn't.

So, I'm seeing some greasy food in my future. Burger King, perhaps?