Hey, yeah… I know. It's been a while. It's not even like I've been too preoccupied to update this thing, it's just that the current goings-on in my life have been of a nature that I'd have to keep on the hush-tip . Why? Not for my sake; you know I'd tell y'all what's going on with me, but most of the people in my life, no matter how much they claim they would want to be on the Real World, couldn't handle having their business splattered across the internet. I mean, seriously. Sometimes I think I know some of the shadiest, sometimiest, downright trifflingest people in the area and somehow got tricked into being friends with them. My official stance on my friends is that I like them, I guess, but you know some of y'all are tripping harder than a mu'fuggah on most good days. I really do need to write about some of the things going on, so until I can devise some system to thoroughly protect the identities of the not-so-innocent, I'll have to keep it to myself. Until then, I'll vent things to you, my adoring public, as generally as I can manage.
Let's talk about liars to start.
Lying really doesn't piss me off as much as most people claim it pisses them off. Some people trip me out when they try to act so affronted by a lie someone told them. I'm sorry, it's a fact of life. People lie. If someone thinks they can get over on you to save themselves in anyway (whether it be from trouble or from some damage to their ego/ reputation) then they are going to. What does piss me off, however, is when people lie to me and I instantly know their lying. Why? Because it's an insult to my intelligence. I actually feel embarrassed for the person when this happens and it makes any part of the conversation after the lie just awkward and uncomfortable for me. I actually blush a little when it happens. People will lie so stupidly too, especially when they can't remember they told me the truth about the lie 2 hours earlier without even knowing it. I usually just change the subject after that. So, if you're talking to me and I immediately start talking about something completely unrelated to the lie you just told me, know that I'm onto your shit and I'm just trying to save us both from a really thwarting situation. Some people's game I've peeped so long ago that I'm starting to wonder if they've ever told me the truth throughout the course of our friendship.
There's a specified group of people that lie to me for the dumbest reason ever. Lies that come out of nowhere. Some of these people are, unfortunately, particularly close to me and are telling me things because they care what I think about them. They know I'm not down with crazy, irresponsible and degrading lifestyle choices, so they'll tell random lies to hide as much of their true character from me as possible to throw me off track. Well surprise, fuckers, I caught on ages ago. I have this one friend who just totally volunteered this lie about not being sexually active with his girlfriend. First of all, that was stupid as hell because:
- I don't care.
- I knew you guys were having sex way before there was any hard evidence.
- Seriously, I don't care.
The truth actually slipped later on that day through casual conversation so it's like, damn, now I gotta change the subject. See what you did? Got me all embarrassed and shit. I know none of that situation is a big deal at all, but it's just one lie of many that people tell me that doesn't ever need to be told and really makes no sense.
Also, don't try to lie to me about something I know a lot about. Don't lie to me about languages, please don't do it. This one girl, lyin' ass, tried to tell me she was fluent in French (I know some of you guys are already like "I know what's coming"). This was the dumbest lie ever because who cares that you speak French! You totally didn't make yourself look any cooler to us. And you don't know this, but I practically grew up in the French speaking world so don't even try it because I'm actually fluent. So anyway, yeah, she says that to us and I'm immediately like "Ah, oui? Es-tu d'origine française, alors?" (Are you of French descent) and she responds, "Oh, I don't speak that dialect". Now, I'm sorry, but French has to be one of the most standardized languages in the world. The transparency between even separate dialects of French is so high that unless you're a native speaker you won't even notice the differences. Basically this means that a French speaker from Vietnam will understand someone in Cambodia, Tahiti, Haiti, Martinique, Quebec, Belgium, Switzerland, all of French-speaking Africa, the middle east and France. It's not like Arabic or even Spanish where the differences can be so much to not be mutually intelligible with another dialect. French is that on point. So instead of completely shutting her all the way down to Chinatown with that information, I seam fully diverted the conversation to "those fish sandwiches they sell at Captain Steve's, man they're good".
For the simple fact that I think I just got lied to again, real stupidly, I'm gonna go on ahead and assume people are just forgetful for and/ or really stupid sometimes because there's no way I can get lied to this much all the time. Although, my reality is probably just a little off kilter right now because I'm more than just a tad inebriated. ON THAT NOTE, I'm going to bed…
…aaaaaand, publish!
No comments:
Post a Comment